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chosh part one

>>did you miss...
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back for a bit

15:12 on 01.24.03
"memories of ilana"

i think i am going to cry. ilana misses me. she emailed me... yesterday? i didn't look at the date. yeah it was yesterday. i thought she forgot about me. if you want the background on ilana read my cast page and you'll find out. but in short, she's my best friend. i haven't seen her since november of 2001, which is disappointing. i miss her so much, especially because we were closer than siblings for an entire year. we stuck together like super glue, i was always there for her, she was always there for me. we called each other "soul sisters" because we were so alike. we're still very much alike. but we never see each other. she lives far enough away and we're both involved in this, that and the other thing, and that is enough to keep us from seeing one another.

such is life, such is the story with me and my other friends.

ilana and i went through this thing when, after she moved, and after joshua and i started going out, she claimed that joshua was replacing her. and i admit, i was paying more attention to him than to her at times, but he could never replace her. yes he is my boyfriend, and yes he can be very much like a best friend, but ilana is my best friend and she has been for several years. no one could ever replace her. (o:

really. it's the truth.

one thing i can't believe is that even though she is my best friend, and even though i have been dating joshua for two years, my best friend and my boyfriend have never met. unbelievable? yes.

wow. getting that email from ilana completely made my day. completely. i was ready to get online and get on diaryland and completely bitch about my entire day. but i got an email from her and i haven't heard from her in a bunch, so it made me feel all happy and good and warm and fuzzy inside.

i also got an excellent review... A+ at punk reviews (please note that isn't a link to my review, but to the main page, so you may have to look in the archives if you want to see the review). she really loved the layout, which made me happy because kate made it special for me. (o: and it seems like she read more than ten entries, and it seems as if she went through my extras and stuff and actually took time on the review. because the review was very accurate. she linked to my poetry site, saying that it was good poetry, so i think she read a bunch of the poems too.

and... i got two letters today from a penpal in texas! yippie! i love getting mail. it's me taking pleasure from the simple things in life. so today after school was pretty good. school wasn't that bad either. in fact, for someone who is stressing so much about midterms, it was pretty great. except i'm so discouraged about the tests that i just want to moan and complain and just curl up and hide away, away, away...

*sigh* i wrote an article for the newspaper (school paper) on the jazz band. i'll put it up when i get my disc back. in math we played jeapordy and for once, i was getting the problems right. i asked ms. g if we could have the test in jeapordy-form because i was doing so well!

i'm out now. i got things to do. and i think joshua will be coming over tomorrow. (o: exciting? oh yeah.

i love joshua. <3 chelsea