>>diary
cast
rings
reviews
registered
clix

>>contact
guestbook
tagboard
notes
e-mail

>> me
profile
the girl
likes / hates
131 things listings
glossory
bookshelf
poetry
chosh part one

>>did you miss...
-
-
-
-
back for a bit

15:21 on 01.27.03
"sing vs. play"

525,600 minutes...

sometimes i wish that i could sing. sometimes i wish that i had that talent in addition to the others i have.

i can play flute and i can play piccolo. i can dance and i can act. i can do all of them quite well. (obviously, my talent on instruments is exercised much more often, but i can do all of those decently.)

so why can't i sing?

it really pisses me off. i just can't sing. can't do it. i used to be able to. and now i listen to all of these musicalc and i think to myself, "wow, the flute music there is beautiful, and the pit is amazing. i would give anything to be there in that pit playing my heart out, but what would things be like if i could sing too?"

because i love the stage. there's magic there too, just like in the pit, but you feel it more on the stage. people are watching you there, they're focused on you, and you're there in the spotlight.

the only spotlight in the pit is the stand light.

there's an energy on the stage, a heat on the stage that can not be matched. there's life and vibrance and activity.

the only heat in the pit comes from your stand light. the only real 'vibrance' comes from the stand light. because it's quiet. and you have to stay quiet. you can't talk and laugh when you aren't playing. you can't move around.

on the stage, you're using all of you to express emotion. body, voice, movement (same as body.. sort of), everything. and in the pit, it's different.

sure, music is wonderful. and just music is wonderful. but sometimes i want to sing and get on the stage and make the most of my acting abilities and dancing abilities.

right now, i have to be quiet, clad in black and freezing cold in the pit.

i have done one straight play and one musical. and i kind of miss the lights and the spotlight. i miss walking and talking and moving. )o:

so maybe you'll say i am an attention whore. that i just want to be in the front because i just want to be seen. say what you want, think what you want. i love the stage, i love the pit. but i don't exactly belong with the cheap colored lights. (sorry about the rent reference there... listening to 'one song glory' - an excellent song. if you don't have the rent soundtrack at least download 'one song glory' from rent. it's worth the time.) i belong with my music, stand and light.

would you light my candle...? such a wonderful song. musicals. they're amazing. they're so full of life!

way too much music right now for me.

in other news

the math midterm was pretty easy. i loved it. it wasn't too hard at all! i got over a 90, of that i am sure. definitely. so i did bring up my average, which is always a good thing, right? yeah.

i have begun to plan for cty. cty begins the last week of june, so i have to be prepared. and i want to get out my application during the first week of having it. maybe the second week. because i just want to get it in. i can't wait, i am so impatient for this last year of cty. i don't want it to come to a close, no. i just want it to come so that i can enjoy it. it's so much fun, it's like living a different life. and it's with joshua and all my geeky-not-stereotyped friends. (o:

i love joshua. <3 chelsea