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chosh part one

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back for a bit

16:55 on 09.22.02
"my dog skip"

subject title irrelevent...

oh yeah! i saw joshua yesterday. in eight hours, we had only one minor disagreement, which definately did not affect the rest of the day.

we went shopping... joshua had to stand through shoe shopping with me. i don't know how he did it. right now i am wearing the slippers that i got yesterday. they're dark blue and really soft... they ave a white sparkle star in the center that is outlined in blue and then red. yeah, so they are patriotic, who cares? they are really comfortable. i also got dark blue sneakers which i am *hoping* will be suitable for gym. but that is absolutely irrelevent. my shoes don't matter, just another side tangent thingy. i dunno.

so we went shopping at the jv, the town center, and then this other little place where yon's daddy's chinese resturant is. poor joshua actually had to go through with me and shopping. i really feel so sorry for him. i am not pleasant when i shop... i am so particular.

we got pizza to eat for dinner. yummy... pizza... le pizza, en français. :) or is it la pizza? i dunno, who cares?

"chill out... whatcha yellin' for? lay back... it's all been done before..."

joshua made me the avril lavigne cd and he also put a couple of other songs on the end of the cd... including the "where in the world is carmen sandiego?" theme... which made me very happy. i used to love that show. i would wait for it to come on every single day. i loved it so much. it was on monday thru friday at nine. (or so says the song.) and then one day it just disappeared, which actually made me very sad. :( i really liked that show, so i listened to the theme a billion times (an over exaggeration, but not by much) and had all these memories of watching that show come flooding back to me. i was having flashbacks or something. i only remember bits n pieces, it's been so long.

what else did joshua and i do yesterday?

well, when his mom came to pick him up, she and my mom ended up talking for an hour and my dad was downstairs where he couldn't see us, so we cuddled on the big orange chair in the living room for awhile. we kissed a lot too. not making out kissing, just quick little kisses every other second. :) and some french kisses. a date isn't complete without french kisses. it really isn't. :):):) i love kissing joshua, but we are not going to get into that.

i gave him my journal, so he read all of it last night. i am glad that i gave it to him. i think when he reads my handwritten not-for-the-public-eye journal, he better understands all of the conflicts and stuff going on inside of me. and he learns something new whenever he reads a new journal. like... when i was in seventh grade (this is before me and joshua), i would drag needles and pins along my wrists, and "cut" myself with the dull side of the knife. i could never bring myself to sink a razor blade or the sharp side of a knife into my flesh, even though i had often contemplated it and written poems and stuff about it.

i thought he knew about that. but he didn't. he did know that when i was in seventh grade i was really depressed. i don't know why, i just was.

i'm so glad that i am not so depressed that i have dragged pins and knifes along my skin. that was hell, that time...

but...

overall, things with joshua went wonderfully. we played two games of partners spite and malice against my parents, and they beat us both times.

wow that was really weird. i wrote "and they beat us" and i had this instant flash back sort of thing of me actually being beaten by my father. that was really strange.

my list of things to do:

1). email reuben and tell him that joshua and i are finally okay. things have been resolved and we are staying together because we love each other and don't want to lose what we curently have.

2). listen to the rest of the avril cd because what i have heard so far i have fallen in love with, just like i fell in love with "complicated" and "sk8er boi" the first time i heard those on the radio...

3). take a shower even though i really do not feel like it...

4). make myself soup because i <3 soup.

5). do my homework. fun fun fun fun fun fun fun times two... not!! ugh. homework sucks.

so today i went to church and now i have to go, i think. dinner is soon, anyway.

i love joshua.

<3 chelsea

p.s.: i can't believe i forgot to mention this, but today is me and joshua's twenty month anniversary. all congrats are welcome! :) :) :)