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chosh part one

>>did you miss...
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back for a bit

10:56 on 11.14.02
"superficial? ou non?"

i have a question that i want my readers to answer... and answer honestly:

do i sound like a superficial bitch?

i mean it. i want to know if i give the impression of being superficial and bitchy etc, etc.

because i don't want to give people the wrong impression. i have done that one too many times and i don't need to do it again.

did you ever notice that when you're going somewhere new that you'll dress yourself up and put on your pretty clothes and pretend to be someone you're not? and you'll flirt and smile and act all cutesy cutesy. and then you back and guess what? you're stuck with that made-up magazine personality. and you have to keep up with it. you have to act and act and act until it comes crashing down. because you're not going to be able to keep up the game and eventually, the costume is going to get hot and if you don't take it off you are going to suffocate.

i hate seeing the girls at my school apply their physical and emotional make-up and then throw themselves at all those guys... all those guys who are killing themselves being god knows what.

and i also hate how people want to get into a good strong relationship, but then pretend they are someone else, and then they don't tell the other person anything. how can you be in a strong relationship while the other person knows nothing about you? isn't that... well, i don't know. it isn't honest.

and um...

so if i come off as a superficial bitch, please tell me, alright?

the day's events

i came home from school early... i got through first period and then the first ten minutes of second period and then i had to go to the nurse. so i didn't make it very far. i went through enough to check my aol mail on the computers at school. i haven't checked it in a forever. oh well. i don't care.

i feel so sick. my nose is stuffy and tres red. i call it my rudolph nose. i can't talk very well. i kind of whisper.

so i am watching jerry springer to make me feel better. i need to laugh. ha ha. there's a woman who sounds like a man and has bad teeth. and then there is this ugly lady who said this:

"i feel that the best way to tell a guy you love him is when you're butt naked."

sounds good. joshua... where are you? i know, i am bad. :-) proud of it.

so since nothing else interesting had happened, i'm putting this is.

i love joshua.

<3 chelsea