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chosh part one

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back for a bit

19:35 on 12.22.02
"hello hello"

sometimes i wonder why i write in this thing. i have neglected my hand written journal, which is something that i have been keeping up with since third grade. and i'm not a very fast typer. so this is at times, a waste of my time. but i'll continue to write here.

stephanie - i will be sending out a card tomorrow and a letter either on tuesday or thursday.

sometimes i really enjoy my life. like today, i was so happy. i talked to joshua for nearly two hours. it was wonderful. we were happy and content and we didn't fight at all. at all, at all, at all. which is perfect. i hope that i can see him a least twice this vacation. i have seen him a lot lately, but i haven't actually spent a lot of quality time with him. we haven't cuddled and kissed a lot, we haven't actually spoken and had decent josh-and-chelsea conversations.

i'm not much in the writing mood today, but i will try. i slept over ashley's house on friday night and we went to sleep at six in the morning. it was nice, a lot of fun. we went out to dinner with her family and then we went to the mall. and at four in the morning, we ate the rest of our manicotti. if that is how you spell it. but we stayed up late and talked and talked and since i haven't seen her in awhile, we just didn't shut up. she told me that whenever i talk about joshua i get really cute. she also called me amazing, because i love everything about joshua even if those things seem undesirable to other people. but i honestly do love all the little things about him.

*yawn* i am so exhausted and i do not know why. oh man. i really want to see joshua. i need a hug and a kiss and then i need to talk to him.

you know what movie i really want to see? the emperor's club. partially because i saw dead poet's society and absolutely loved it and then i saw the commercial for emperor's club and it really bothered me because it looked like a rip-off of dead poet's. i heard that it is such the rip-off. so i want to compare. joshua wants to see the lotr movie. and i am not allowed to go to see a movie with him. i would go with him if i could, if i were allowed. i don't really care to see the movie, but if he really wants to see it, i would go and be a good girlfriend and sit next to him and watch. torture, but i am willing to go through with it for him. i'm too self-sacrificing. i really am. oh well. joshua is going with his friends and the next thing you know, he'll be doing things with his friends all of vacation andhe won't do anything with me. i expect it. i expect that of him. because as he said, he can do things if he wants to. which is fine with me.

alright, i am out. i don't have the heart to write anything else. maybe later. i doubt it.

i love joshua.

<3 chelsea

oh by the way, today is me and joshua's 23 month anniversary. 23 months. so long, so long. but so cloe to two years.